And in that moment he lost me

He lost everything we ever had

And everything we could have had

He lost something he didn’t even realize

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Let’s appreciate life …shall we???
So there are two types of people who wake up every morning.

First are those who are chirpy and happy and get to their morning chores pretty casually without making a fuss and are on their routine just like that.

Second are those who like to snooze the alarm like a million times before they actually make up their mind to get up. They then rush through brushing and bathing, miss their breakfast most of times and are also the ones who you’ll find complaining about transportation, how God was sleeping while he wrote their life and curse their luck and everyone who annoys the shit out of them.

Well, I happen to be both of them at times. I’m sure pretty most of us kinda struggle between those two types. There are days when we feel nothing can be as perfect as our life and nobody in this world is as lucky as us and then there are those days when we wish we had a gun and could kill everyone on our target list. Disshhhkyaaauuuuuu!!!

Amidst all that, we miss the true purpose our life – to appreciate everything that is around us; to realise there is beauty in everything. I never really understand why people need a vacation or feel the need to “escape” to a forest or go trekking to realize the beauty of nature around them? Like, what is it, people? Do you turn blind in your day-to-day routine? Have you ever just thought of having a cup of coffee in the evening while you are on the window? Just sitting on the terrace of your building, talking to your partner or friend or roommate or maybe even just being alone looking at the night sky. Have you ever just seen the city a little differently in the traffic? Like how there are people with much bigger struggles and that not carrying headphones is a really small thing to fuss about.
“MOOD” & “VIBES” have just become catchy words to post a picture with– seemingly perfect photos on social media. Just bragging about you trying to relax when in reality maximum of you are just in your phones distracted by the internet!
Life’s much more than the posts on social media and the fuss of your assignment or your overdue report. The saying “Life is a Gift” always sends chills down my spine. If we call it a gift, it should be something we’re happy to receive and cherish. We should make the most of it in the most amazing manner and make it a blessing. Yes we’re allowed to fall, make mistakes cause we’re humans and that’s what teaches us our lessons. 

I feel in our everyday life, in the so robotic-life that we live, everyone of us should take out an hour just to appreciate life! No matter what time of the day we decide to do so, I believe we all should do it. Cause unless and until we realize what we have, we won’t be able to make the most of it. 

So my dear friends, keep your work, phone, and routines aside, grab a coffee or anything you like, and just pause every thing and breathe! Think about the good stuff you have, the nature around you, the people in your life and be grateful! Just appreciate! I’m sure you’ll smile.

I feel lonely and I feel lost;

I feel dark and I feel used;

Why people judge and misunderstand you;

Why can’t you have normal things like other girls do?

Some girls have history worst than mine; 

Yet they are all happy enjoying and I m sitting crying:

I have had enough of all this;

I don’t wanna take anymore; 

I just wanna leave everything and everyone 

And escape all for once!

When you are depressed

Not everyone gets what your feeling and not everybody understands what you’re going through. It is very difficult for people to explain or express or even try and make it understandable to others when they feel low or depressed. And it’s not the strangers that I m talking about the others I’m referring to are, our own people. It becomes so difficult when your own person doesn’t see what you’re going through. And it hurts even more when they misunderstand. 

Depression is a something that not everyone can handle and deal with and it’s very easy these days with so much of competition and stress that goes into everything for people to get depressed. Some overcome it overnight while others get fallen into it’s trap and just mess up everything. I wouldn’t say who overcome it overnight are brave. Because no it isn’t good or brave to cry each night and smile the other morning. Its not brave because it’s useless what your doing. Just fake a smile because you have to get through the day??? Why??? Why not say it?

The reason we don’t say it because we are misunderstood. It’s so easy to misunderstand and just shut the crying ones away cause let’s face it, who likes the one who wheeps? There are some who constantly wheep while there are some who you’ll notice just zone out suddenly in the middle. Suddenly they get serious and all sad and you just don’t understand. It’s surprising and you just decide to leave them alone.

That’s where we all make a mistake. Just leave them alone. Have you ever even given a thought what zillion things a person’s mind thinks when he/she is low? It goes places , deep dark places where no man has ever gone and they just kill themselves from within. I never understand why people do that to themselves? Why just take your mind places you know aren’t meant for you?

I do the same too. But I never really understood what to do. Listen songs and go to sleep is all what my friend’s always said. But she also gets like this I know and what she does? She goes through the same “ I don’t know man what I m doing. Just enough. I want out” We all think we have someone to talk to when we are low or feeling depressed but the reality is there is really no one . There is nobody here who says” don’t be this , don’t feel this, this is not true”

It’s just you. All you for yourself. So I say why even bother yourself with shitty thoughts when there is already something hurting you? Why not be your own savior? There is never a hand that comes to save you. It always you who cry and it’s you who wakes up the next morning with a smile.

I did realize one thing :-.  

Never expect someone to be there for you always and understand you and get you out of your depressed mind. Because nobody ever comes. People promise and they forget. You try being there for them and they forget after that. It’s ok anyways. Never do bad to anyone and never take bad from anyone. So what if no one’s there for you. You make sure you are there for yourself. If you can do it for others,you can sure do it for yourself!

Hightime !

Women! Have you ever just stopped and wondered about how strong women really are. I know a lot is written about women and women empowerment and about how women go through so much and yet say nothing. Yes we have given a voice to address the issues and the problems Ladies go through but have we given in any actions? When it comes to speaking people go to Mars and come back and have big plans as if they have everything just going right, but what is the reality? What do facts say? What is the truth that everybody tries to hide behind these so called “Feminist Speeches” .
“We Are Nowhere Near In Giving Women Equal Rights”. Just a shameful thing it is don’t you think? It’s been 70 years since our country got freedom and we are living in the 21st century but the problem , the basic problem and the so called “agenda” that the political parties still use shamelessly is “Women Safety and Women’s Rights”. It still surprises me how my parents think that our neighborhood isn’t safe for girls. And it scares them when I am late to reach home. Be in broad sunlight or the night ,my mom is constantly in tension whenever I m out. And why is that? 
In recent times we saw rise in crimes like rape and kidnapping . Rape to be most common one . The Delhi Nirbhaya case and the Mumbai Mills Reporter case still brings goosebumps to my mother. Isn’t it a shame to the country and it’s so called strong “Men” that women are being rapped in the country’s capital??? What are they so proud of? And do these men proof by rapping? What sense of power do they get by rapping? Just cause you see a girl with a boy late at night gives you the indication that she’s fuckable? Just cause a girl is doing is her job as a photographer in an isolated area gives you the chance to take pleasure? What sick mentality is that?It is disgusting how cheap and low these men think. It’s not even an human that can think or do so ..these are pure actions and thoughts of an animal.
I don’t feel good and it irks me when I hear news like these and more importantly it hurts me to see my parents aren’t allowing me to do some things just cause it isn’t safe. And it’s not just my parents. Everywhere girls are stopped for these reasons only. “don’t go here..it isn’t safe.” “ don’t wear this ..it isn’t safe” Do you even hear yourselves people?? Don’t wear specific clothes cause it isn’t safe?? 
Well people smile or agree when they come across such questions but do they take actions? No! When it comes to actions suddenly everyone backs off!! Cowards (sigh).
A girl walking on the station is stared by a hundred creepy men. No matter what she is wearing she is either tried touching or stares are definitely on her. Men see other men staring but ignore it. Why? You know with intentions and with what eyes he’s staring. The girl gets uncomfortable and decides to move forward. Why is it that the girl had to get uncomfortable and move? What were men doing when they saw a bastard make a girl uncomfortable.?? With senses, have men lost humanity in them too???
It’s high time people seriously wake up and come to your senses. It’s not just your mother,your sister, your girlfriend or your friend that you have a right to protect. Stand for girls everywhere. If you see a creep misbehaving have the guts to stop him and in my terms slap him. You have been quiet for a long time now. Waiting for a creep to misbehave with your sister or girlfriend?
And my dear girls, you are strong enough to stand and protect yourself. If someone tries to misbehave have the guts to slap him and if he doesn’t stop there, don’t hesitate to kick him in his balls!! (Yeah you read it right) You aren’t wrong and you definitely don’t have to be ashamed of what you are and what you are wearing. If someone stares give them a stare back. Make them realize you aren’t sacred of them. If someone even dares to try to touch you make sure you punch him as hard as possible. It’s been high time even you kept quiet. No we don’t need anymore sympathy. We need what we always deserved but were also deprived of equal rights, respect and freedom. And they can’t stop us anymore.

I don’t feel good.

I don’t feel good at all. I don’t think that I can take it anymore. I don’t think I have it in me to take it anymore.

I have had enough of me. Enough of everything going on around me.

I can’t take the fakeness anymore. I can’t take the lies or the fights anymore.

I want to free myself from these clutches. I want to free myself from everything and everyone that is holding me back. 

What I need now is me. Just me and myself. I don’t want a family or a relationship or even a friend. I don’t want or need anybody for anything.

All I need is realization that I’m enough as an individual.

I am enough.

College:- Reel v/s Real

The only one thing that most of us are excited while growing up is ‘Going to College’. It’s like this big day of our lives that we all are just waiting to happen.Most of us dream of it while some of us make plans with our ‘BFF’s well ahead of time. I am sure we all have had this conversation at least once while we were in school,you know like,

“Man,I’m just waiting to go to college and be free and independent”

OR

” OMG!!! college would be like bunks and hangouts and parties”

OR

“Better luck with girls in college hopefully”

OR

“No matter what or who comes you’ll always be the one”

(Just for those highschool romances and the school lovebirds)

But when school is actually over and you actually get into college it’s NOT THE SAME AT ALL!! It’s almost like a rat-race and you feel like you’re in a 9-5 job. Above all, the preparations for Entrance Exams to get into a good Degree College sucks even more. Well again you think,

“You know what,maybe degree college will be a little more fun…maybe that will be a little more chilled out and not this boring and sucky and just a tad bit more fun”

But, no my dear friend, again it’s just the same ball game altogether. Degree College again sucks way more than what your Junior college did. Infact there comes a point when you actually say ,”MAN…MY JUNIOR COLLEGE WAS WAY MORE BETTER AND MY LIFE WAS WAY MORE SIMPLIER THEN” 

Me,being in an Engineering College can guarantee you, our life at college sucks 100 raised to a million times than what non-engineering students suck at their college. I mean we have

1)75% compulsory attendance

2)Unit Tests (2 unit test each semester)

3) Internal Viva

4) External viva

5)File submission

6)Practicals

and 

7) Written Exams!!!

and this is for ALL SUBJECTS.

All of those 7 things for all of the 5-6 subjetcs. And no, it’s not at all that easy as the principal makes it sound on the orientation day. The pressure is on  continuously  and yes it’s exactly how Rancho in 3 Idiots said

” College nahi Pressure Cooker hai”

Each odd semester has Technical Festival and each even semester has Cultural Festival. But that’s like just one month out of the 6 months. And is that reliving?? Well no it isn’t that much as it should.

I m sure each branch or field must have it’s own issues, all I m saying is no college is easy. It’s end of your childhood and you step into adulthood and then it’s just earn,start a family,look after your family and death!

Sorry didn’t mean to be so blunt but it’s just I feel it’s become too robotic and monotonous these days. 

Excel at academia,do some extra ordinary degree,get a job that pays you in lakhs,get married and live a life king size.

I really don’t know how satisfied are people who manage to do this or actually try doing at least one of the above .

For me, it’s more important that I m satisfied with my work. If I m learning something,I should be interested and I should be eager to learn it. Otherwise it’s just waste of time ,money and energy.

College just doesn’t give you a degree,it actually teaches you alot about how the world works. It helps you figure yourself out,find your true self and what you truly desire.College gives you friends for a lifetime with a zillion memories to remember and it gives you stories which you’ll treasure and share with your kids and grandkids.

College is…an emotion,an experience and a journey.

College is probably everything at the same time!